Recently I've come to the conclusion that my disappointment with my loved ones could be used as a useful tool in interacting with the Dharma, but I was really stuck on feeling my disappointment.  A mentor suggested I write a life mission statement in order to re-focus my energy.  Well actually, she had been urging me to write one for about 3 months.  And so one day, I found myself writing about the Dharma and how I wanted my life to enact the Dharma.  I will not be sure if this a low or high understanding of the Dharma, but it is a map.  In accordance with my mentor's suggestion, I am putting this mission statement out to the universe -- the my friends, family, and communit(ies).  I also decided to put it here, because as you might have noticed, another member recently threw down the gauntlet (although very constructively!) regarding a past blog post.  "Start where you are," --that's what kept going through my head.  And so this is my roadmap-for-living-the-moment.  Any comments, suggestions, concerns, or gripes are welcome.

Recently, I had some interactions that changed my life.  Sparing the details, I had a series of moments with loved ones where I felt the weight of my negative actions pressing on me.  I felt like I could sense how deeply and naively I had wounded them across the span of my life.  Not an intentional thing, just the realization that at times sorrow and disappointment can be part of a relationship with a deeply loved individual.  It disturbed me to think that in the span of my life, the accumulation of small wounds against my loved ones might outweigh the accumulation of merit